Take a step back

We (or at least I) used to think that I need to work hard enough to achieve anything in this life. Thinking that it might be the only way to achieve "happiness" or "excellence" or anything that symbolize the meaning of "success". Either in academic, career or even love and friendship. Probably because we grow up in a society that define success as "getting good grades" , happiness as "getting married", we somehow build out thoughts towards that direction. And if you get otherwise, they take us as a failure. How is it fair to let people define us? To let people define me?

I read this somewhere. It talks about judging one's efforts. Why is it when people doesn't reach the benchmark or standard that the society has set, we say things like "It's okay you can do better" or "You can improve your marks" or "Try harder". Isn't it infuriating? You work your very best, only to listen that you are not doing enough. It seems like it's all too easy for them to judge our efforts, when they never see our blood, sweat and tears in the process. As time goes on, you started to degrading yourself, believing what they say. Letting people to define ourselves. You pushed yourself more than your capacity, seeking for their approval and ended up burning out yourself in a fight that you can never win.

When I first realised that I am that "You", I feel soooooooo pathetic, for trying too hard in life. Why did I do everything to please people, making sure they love me, pressuring myself with unnecessary thoughts, thinking that I just need to step forward even when I am lost on my destination. I started to think am I on the right track?

I started to let myself cool down. Take my time to discover back my purpose in life and what I want to achieve. Whenever I feel like I am moving too fast that it feels hard to breathe, I take a step back. "Life is not a linear line." You don't need a constant success. The next time you find yourself lost, take a step back, a time out. Reviewing what actually is going on, discovering your next step. Life is not a race, never burden yourself with speed. It might be a new journey of you achieving in your own definition and be the best version of you. 

And I practiced it. Take a step back from everything, from everyone. Find myself a lot more calmer in handling things. In almost everything, be it in academic, love life, personal development or family friend. The rule is the same. Take a step back. 

"In the end, we need two things to lead a balanced life – a sense of the world and a sense of ourselves; it’s like breathing in and breathing out. And if you can only get to know the world by stepping out, and losing yourself in experience, you can only get to see the self by stepping back and finding yourself in contemplation. One without the other leads to a kind of madness. So. let’s keep that in mind and live those moments without fear or frustration."